◆〔Wed〕Zen and the Art of Aptitude

Smoke and Makuuchi

As all of you know from my profile, I'm a major sumo junkie. I choose the word "junkie" mindful of the recent marijuana fracas in the sumo association which has led to the ouster of three Russian rikishi of varying levels of talent and potential: Wakanoho (young and full of promise), Roho (past his prime and slipping into retirement-mode), and Hakurosan (totally washed-out from bad knees and should have quit two years ago).


As a former criminal defense attorney, this trio's opprobrium brings to mind a conversation I once had with a prosecutor over what I considered to be inefficacy of drug laws in general, and of marihuana prohibition in particular. I opined then--and still do--that it is the right of an individual to put what they choose into their bodies, be it alcohol, nicotine, or THC. However, I agreed with my prosecutor friend that, in sports, it was the right of the governing body to regulate the drug-intake of professional participants.


Sumo wrestlers are paid employees under contract, and the Sumo Association has the right to impose certain limitations on their behavior pursuant to said contracts. Also--particularly with regard to performance-enhancing substances like steroids--allowing the substances effectively engenders a harmful imperative to abuse them. Is Wakanoho's banishment a black-mark on the Sumo Association? Yes. Will it diminish sumo? Yes. Did the Association have the right to do it? Absolutely. He knew the rules, and he broke them.


And what does all of this have to do with taking the LSAT, GMAT, GRE, or SAT you ask; good question. The analogy is this: Just as Roho et alii don't get to make their own rules about Sumo, we don't get to make our own rules about the methods used by the test-makers to evaluate us. Just as the Sumo Association uses harsh discipline and hierarchy to keep wrestlers from becoming arrogant and unmanageable, standardized tests use humiliation and our self-doubt to keep us from excelling. The LSAT's games, the SAT's paired passages, and the GRE's antonyms have in common the fact that attempting them makes most of us feel stupid, and no one likes to feel stupid. Those who can't accept that either do poorly on the tests, or end up not even attempting them.


We must approach those tests mindful that we don't just need knowledge to overcome them, but also self-confidence tempered with humility. Bemoan that fact if you like, but--if you want to succeed on your respective test--accept it and behave accordingly.

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Posted By: Douglas R. Williams on October 1, 2008

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