The Easy Way

Happy New Year everyone. I trust you all celebrated well and relaxed much. I had a really great vacation. It was actually the best New Year's vacation of the three that I've had in Japan so far.


I heard something really simple but really good over the vacation. Someone was saying how there's three ways to live life in regards to learning from mistakes. The easy way, the hard way, and the tragic way. The easy way is to learn from others' mistakes; the hard way is to learn from your own, and the tragic way is to not learn from any. This sounds pretty simple because it is pretty simple. And I guess those really are the only three options. I guess you might have a combination of them... Anyway, and this person said that every year you should reflect and think of what your mistakes have been and then for the next year just not make them. Again really simple, but easier said than done.


Well I thought it was a really good idea. And a really good idea that's often overlooked. It's really incredible how many people go through life not learning from mistakes, not learning how to solve their problems, solve problems. There's a proverb I really like: "Like a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." You know how dogs eat their own throw up? If you've never had a dog maybe you don't. Well they do. It's really disgusting. And any sane person would think it's crazy and would never do the same thing. Well the proverb means that fools do the same things with their mistakes. Mistakes are mistakes and not good to be made, especially twice. But fools keep making the same mistakes again and again, and it's just as bad as going back and eating your own throw up, just as crazy.


So I thought about what my main mistake has been this past year and decided it was pride. Pride is an ugly thing that takes many forms and has many consequences. In myself, pride takes the form of reservedness (not a real word) and shyness. That might sound strange, being proud and being shy sound pretty different. But my pride makes me not want to look bad, not want to look stupid. So if I'm in unfamiliar territory, I'll become "shy" so as to shield myself from embarrassing mistakes that I'm too proud to make. Pride holds me back from a lot I think.


A couple of examples. I love singing but am horrible at it, so I don't join in karaoke when I really want to. I love dancing but am bad at it, so don't join my friends when they invite me salsa dancing. I'm curious all the time about new things but am afraid I'll do them wrong so I don't do them (like onsen for a long time). Sometimes pride even stops me from helping others, how horrible! Whenever I see homeless people, I really want to give them food. In America, this is a totally acceptable thing, but in Japan, I don't know. So I'm afraid that if I try to give them food, they'll get angry or yell at me because they're embarrassed or crazy, so I don't give them food. And the reason is not because I'm worried about hurting their pride, I'm worried about hurting my own should they yell at me and make me look strange in front of people on the street. But trying, and having the possibility of giving someone food, should be worth the risk of my possible embarrassment. And generally, the more I think this way, the more I think about myself, the less I think of others, the less capable I am to care for others. And a world in which you only live for yourself is a very small world indeed.


So this year I really want to try and stop thinking about myself and how I look all the time. I want to enjoy and care for what's around me, the people around me. Imagine walking in a beautiful paradise but only watching your reflection in the river waters as you pass. (Like many people do with their reflections in building windows in Tokyo.) What a waste! I want to caste my eyes upward and forward, not down at my own feet.


So, over the break I sang karaoke with people who were not my fiancé for the first time ever. I'm going salsa dancing Friday. Something new... I haven't figured that out yet. And this very morning I gave something to a homeless woman that I pass everyday on my way to work.


There's a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt (the wife of a president of America). She said, "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." This is what my friend would call the easy way. I want to encourage you all to at all costs learn from your own mistakes, be really active in trying to find what they are and in fixing them. But you could be even more ahead of the game and learn from those of others. Maybe some of you can even learn from mine.


▼▽▼▼【講師】Amberly先生のバックナンバー━━━━━━━━
・【Reading 3: Skimming】2009.12.02 (Wed)

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